Forgive, But Don't Forget, a sermon based on Matthew 18: 21-35, preached on September 17, 2023

Forgiveness is a common theme for sermons. You’ve all heard sermons on forgiveness and know already how important forgiveness is. Today, I want to separate forgiveness from forgetfulness because “forgive and forget” is one of those phrases we hear so often that it’s just about programed into our brains. However, while forgiveness is in the Bible, forgetfulness is not. In fact, the Bible advocates for remembering. Five times in the book of Deuteronomy, Moses says some version of: Remember that you were a slave in Egypt, and the Lord your God redeemed you from there. The Bible deals with memory of salvation the same way we deal with the Holocaust or September 11th. Never forget, we say. Remember. But why? Why is it good to remember? When is it bad to forget? Yesterday, I heard a great sermon illustration on the importance of forgiveness. A man was strolling for exercise around a beautiful lake when he was bit by a copperhead. He said to himself, “I’ve got to get to the hospital, but not before I kill that snake!” For twenty minutes, he hunted down the snake, each step taking him further and further from his car. Later, when the paramedics found him dead, they couldn’t understand why he hadn’t survived. He was five minutes from the car, just a 15-minute drive from the hospital, but like Captain Ahab in Moby Dick, he couldn’t forgive the snake and chose vengeance over getting the help he needed. That’s foolish. It’s wise to let go of that desire for vengeance. Forgiveness is good. Forgiveness can save your life, but forgetfulness? Forgive the snake and get to the hospital, but don’t forget that copperheads bite or that white whales sink ships. Let go and forgive, for some have said that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and hoping that the person we’re angry with will die. One prisoner of war asked another, “Have you forgiven your captors yet?” “I’ll never do that,” the second one answered. “Then they still have you in prison, don’t they?” the first one replied. Forgiveness is good, and it doesn’t necessarily require forgetting. Rabbi Harold Kushner tells another good one: A woman in my congregation comes to see me. She is a single mother, divorced, working to support herself and three young children. She says to me, “Since my husband walked out on us, every month is a struggle to pay our bills. I have to tell my kids we have no money to go to the movies, while he’s living it up with his new wife in another state. How can you tell me to forgive him?” I answer her, “I’m not asking you to forgive him because what he did was acceptable. It wasn’t; it was mean and selfish. I’m asking you to forgive him because he doesn’t deserve the power to live in your head and turn you into a bitter, angry woman. I’d like to see him out of your life emotionally as completely as he is out of it physically, but you keep holding on to him. You’re not hurting him by holding on to that resentment, but you’re hurting yourself. Forgive. Let it go to save yourself from more harm. Forgive, but don’t forget and let him move back in to hurt you all over again. Forgive and remember. Remember that snakes are snakes. Forgive him for what he did and let him go. Don’t forget and go through it all a second time. You can forgive and remember. Don’t mistake forgiveness and forgetfulness. Most important of all to remember, though, is that moment when we received forgiveness. Remember when you received forgiveness. Look at what happened to the slave who forgot that he had been forgiven. Our second Scripture lesson is a parable. A parable is a short story that Jesus often tells in response to a complex question. In our second Scripture lesson, the parable is in response to Peter, who came to Jesus and asked Him: Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times? Jesus responds first with a simple answer, “not seven times, but I tell you, seventy-seven times.” Then, He gets to the story or parable, which includes a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. One slave was deep in debt, more deeply in debt than anyone else, and probably more than anyone else could even imagine. He owed the king ten thousand talents, which is meant to be a number beyond counting. It’s like a kid saying, “a million billion dollars,” so this one slave owed the king a million billion dollars. Still, brought into the presence of the king, the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, “Just give me a little more time. Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything I owe.” Maybe knowing that would never happen, maybe just because he was feeling merciful, maybe because he was more full of grace than anyone had ever imagined, the king released the slave and forgave him the debt. Now, that was a wonderful gift. Can you imagine the feeling of such a burden lifted off your shoulders? A friend in Texas sent me a picture of this mass baptism that took place last week at Auburn University. Maybe you’ve heard about it. After a worship service, students were baptized by the 10s and 20s. Some say as many as 200 students were baptized in a pond on campus as a crowd of hundreds more cheered them on. Burdens of sin and guilt were washed away by the water of baptism. It sounds like John the Baptist at the Jordan River, and I give thanks to God for this movement of the Spirit. However, Presbyterians have a way of being suspicious of these things. Did you know that? They call us the “Frozen Chosen” because we’re suspicious of emotional displays. Our tradition has often said, “Be careful about how you feel in the moment because what you feel at a revival on Thursday has to carry over into how you behave on Saturday night,” so Presbyterians have never been big on revivals. In fact, back in Columbia, Tennessee, the Presbyterian Church is right next to the house where President James K. Polk grew up. That “K” in James K. Polk stands for Knox, which you might know is one of the big names of Presbyterian history. James K. Polk’s mother was a Presbyterian. His grandmother was a Presbyterian, all the way back to somebody who was related to that great Scottish preacher whose prayers were said to have terrified the Queen of England more than all the ships of the Spanish Armada, yet if you go to the Methodist Church across the street from the Presbyterian Church in Columbia, Tennessee, just on the corner from James K. Polk’s house, you’ll see that at the center of their rose window is the profile of our 11th President because the Methodists had a tent revival and James K. Polk felt the movement of the Spirit and was saved. Now, I’m not against revivals. I’ve been saved four or five times, but you can’t get saved on Sunday night then steal Texas from Mexico on Monday morning. What happens in here must carry over into how we behave in the world out there. Be forgiven, but don’t forget. Be saved, then act like it. Accept God’s grace, then give it away. The slave in Jesus’ parable didn’t do that. “As he went out, he came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’” Notice how quickly it happened. As he went out from the place where he had just received forgiveness for a debt of a million billion dollars, he seized by the throat a fellow slave who owed him a pocketful of change. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Did you hear that? When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, that this slave who had been forgiven a debt of a million billion dollars demands repayment for a debt of a handful of coins, they can’t stomach the hypocrisy. The king can’t believe it, and according to the parable, this is how God feels every time we withhold from our neighbor the forgiveness that we’ve been given. Remember now that Jesus says all this to Peter, who will deny the Lord three times. It’s as though He’s saying, “Peter, I’m about to forgive you for something horrible, so don’t you dare think you’ll ever be able to hold a grudge against anyone again without being a hypocrite.” That’s the way of forgiveness. It’s rooted in the memory of God forgiving us, and that memory is enough to transform the world in small and big ways. Think about what happens when the forgiveness that we talk about in here spreads out into the world. The grace that Joseph offered his brothers is a story that’s still being told thousands of years after it happened. In our first Scripture lesson, Joseph’s brothers, who had sold him into slavery, ask themselves, “What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong that we did to him?” After they sold him into slavery, now, he has all the power. After they did him so much harm, now he can make them pay. That’s what they expect from him. They expect him to pay them back, evil for evil. What he says instead is, “Do not be afraid! Am I in the place of God? Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good.” Joseph remembered. He remembered not only the pain of being sold by his brothers, not only the confusion of being falsely accused in Potiphar’s house, not only the cold nights in that Egyptian jail cell, but the hand of God working in his life, setting him free, and placing him in a position where he can save his family from famine. My friends, remember the ways that God has been at work in your life. Remember who you were before He got ahold of you. Remember the grace He provided. Remember the blessings He’s laid at your feet. Remember that moment of joy, or of freedom, or of forgiveness, and live, out in the world, as one who has been redeemed. Remember how much good you can do, when you choose to love your neighbor as yourself, when you reconcile with your neighbor, rather than demand back a handful of coins. Remember that the debt He paid to save you is far greater than the debt your neighbor owes you. You don’t have to pay the Lord back for His grace. He asks only that you remember and pay it forward. Amen.