If I only had

Scripture Lessons: Genesis 3: 1-9 and Luke 18: 9-14, NT page 81 Sermon title: If I only had Preached on October 23, 2016 Last Thursday the Presbytery of Middle Tennessee held a meeting at the Donelson Presbyterian Church in Nashville. Jeff Smith, Carolyn Fisher, and I were in attendance representing our congregation, along with representatives from most other Presbyterian Churches in Middle Tennessee, and as is often the case at these meetings – a retiring pastor was recognized. Dr. John Crawford served several Presbyterian churches throughout his career and as members of those churches as well as his colleagues stood to mention his various accomplishments, a former Director of Christian Education at First Presbyterian Church Nashville rose to share Dr. Crawford’s role in one of that church’s most legendary events. Several years ago, he told us, the staff of First Presbyterian Church were meeting in a board room overlooking the church’s vast tree lined property on Franklin Road. Dr. Crawford was leading the meeting, but he was interrupted by a member of the church who told them that one of those “natural people” was outside on the front lawn. The staff all stood and went to the widow to see what this church member was talking about, and they quickly realized that “natural” didn’t adequately describe this woman, for once they spotted her this “natural person’ was in truth a nude sunbather. Well, the sunbather stood and moved her blanket to a different place on the church front lawn and the staff shuffled over to the next window to get a better look. The woman moved again, and the church staff moved also not able to believe what was right before their eyes and having no idea what to do. Upon realizing that parents would soon be arriving to pick up their children from the church’s preschool, Dr. Crawford found a rain coat, went out to the woman and very compassionately helped her cover up and find a ride home – and the point I want to make with this story is that rarely do people make themselves so comfortable at a church. The church is a place to be put together, is it not? We come here wanting to look and be our best, for here we stand before our God to sing our praise and give our respect. Rev. and Mrs. Blythe, a couple who regularly visit our church now that Rev. Blythe has retired from his ministry in the Assembly of God tradition, have complimented us for our reverence in worship, and I take pride in that. I value the respect that we pay this room that we call “sanctuary” and the respect that we pay our Lord Jesus who we are bold to call King of Kings, but we must not become so dignified that we stop being honest about who we are. So, on the one hand I think of that “natural person” who paid a visit to First Presbyterian Church up in Nashville and on the other I think of Adam and Eve. Our first Scripture Lesson came from the book of Genesis, and you know this story well. Adam and Eve have broken the one law that God told them not to break. “You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat” God said. But the serpent spoke to Eve, Eve spoke to Adam, and after eating the forbidden fruit – after eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze and Adam and Eve hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. They were hiding there when the Lord called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?” Where are you? Isn’t it an awful thing to hide from God? And the problem with hiding is that hiding prevents relationship and the more you hide the less relationship you have because the more you hide the less you can be known. We enter this sanctuary and we show reverence, we dress well to show respect, but there is a thin line between showing reverence, dressing well, minding manners to show our respect and doing these things to pretend that we are people who we are not. Adam and Eve don’t want to face God – they don’t want to get in trouble – they don’t want to be punished – they don’t want to disappoint God, so they hide themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden and what they don’t realize – what people who hide never realize – is that more damage is done with the hiding than the confession. I was 10 or 11, building a campfire in the backyard with my neighborhood friends, something my mother had explicitly told me not to do but that I was doing anyway – so when I heard her car pull into the driveway I smothered the fire, scattered the evidence and ran out to the driveway with a nice big fake smile on my face, “Hello Mom!” I say. “What are you up to this afternoon Joe Evans?” she asked me, “You weren’t building a fire back there were you?” I told her that I was just hanging out with my friends in the backyard, and “no, no fire Mom. You told me not to do that,” I say despite the smell of smell of smoke on my clothes and the mark of ashes on my hands. My Mom had a friend in the car that afternoon who looked at her as soon as I turned and walked away to say, “he’s lying through his teeth Cathy.” And it was later that evening, when I finally confessed to the truth, that my mom told me how she was disappointed that I had disobeyed her but that I would be grounded for 3 weeks because I had lied. How can you build a relationship, a relationship based on trust, if you hide the truth? If you stop being who you are and start hiding your true self under a mask of you want to be. And people hide like this all the time. Adam and Eve literally hid among the trees of the garden but there are so many others who hide the truth – the truth of who they are - right in plain sight. In our Second Scripture lesson, there were two men who went up to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying like this: “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.” The funny thing about this parable is that Jesus makes this man out to be the bad example, though every preacher I know, myself included, believes that this is how he should be. Growing up at First Presbyterian Church of Marietta, Georgia I came to know and admire the preacher there. His name is Dr. James O. Speed and I became convinced that his character was so solid, his ethic so pristine that should he walk over to a river or any body of water and do his arms like this the waters would part and he would be able to walk through on dry land. The Pharisee here presents himself as one who is not like other people. Some people don’t fast at all; upstanding people fast on the Sabbath – but this man – this man fasts twice a week. Some people don’t give anything to the church. Some people give a portion. But this man – this man tithes his full 10%. So, he doesn’t just go to the temple to pray – he stands in the temple for he is not ashamed – it appears he has done what he is supposed to do. On the other hand, was a tax collector, and standing far off, he would not even look up to heaven but was beating his breast and this is how he prayed: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” Now which would my mother have preferred? Which does Jesus say that God prefers? “I tell you, this man [the tax collector] went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.” Now think about that for a minute. There are several things that make it hard to be a preacher. Trying to understand why Jesus says what he says is just one of them. Buying beer at the grocery store is another. You see, I relate to this Pharisee so much, because when you feel the pressure to be good, to be holy, to be set apart, someone who is an example – you’re tempted to hide the parts of yourself that you’re ashamed of and to take pride in not being like other people. Did you catch what the Pharisee prayed? Not only did the Pharisee make sure that God knew what he had been doing, the Pharisee also let God know who he was not like. “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.” And I know what this is. I told you before that last Thursday I was at a Presbytery meeting with Jeff Smith and Carolyn Fisher. You should have seen us. There we were – looking good. Jeff Smith – church treasurer. Carolyn Fisher – elder and former moderator of the Presbytery. And did you know that there are churches who didn’t even send any representatives? But there I was with these two great commissioners. And we were hearing about these other churches – one who had lost $600,000 because the bookkeeper had been stealing from the church for the past 10 years. Another who had lost her pastor due to his impropriety. And as we heard about these things I just prayed to myself, “God, I thank you that my church is not like other churches.” Do you see what can happen? Do you see what can happen if our prayer is more a resume than a confession? Do you see what can happen when we are so busy hiding the broken parts of ourselves that we take pride in the brokenness of others? That’s why I get so tired of politics and why I’m so glad that the last presidential debate is over. It seems like all we hear from Mr. Trump is a report on how bad Mrs. Clinton is and all we hear from Mrs. Clinton is how bad Mr. Trump is and the Pharisee was doing the same thing in his prayer – Lord I thank you that I am not as bad as this guy huddled over there in the corner. I thank you that I am not as bad as this tax collector. Sometimes we compete this way, not realizing that our attempts to look like we have it all together are ruining our relationships – and not just our relationship with God, but our relationships with each other. Do you know how hard it is to be friends with someone who is always trying to hold it all together? Do you know how hard it is to be honest with someone, to be vulnerable to someone who is incapable of sharing with you their own failings and shortcomings? It’s like being invited into someone’s house who has plastic on the furniture. Do you know what I’m talking about? You’re invited over for tea and you get to sit down on the sofa and you hear plastic crinkling and if it’s hot, you feel your leg start to stick to the plastic and you must peel your skin off it to move your leg. How much would I rather sit down in a living room with a few stains on the furniture than a living room that must be kept pristine because the owner of that living room is too interested in the appearance of perfection. Adam and Eve chose to hide rather than confess. I chose to lie to my mother rather than admit to my disobedience. The Pharisee could only mention the things that he was doing right, too afraid to confess the things he was doing wrong and he had to put other people down to lift himself up. On the other hand, was a tax collector, and standing far off, he would not even look up to heaven but was beating his breast and this is how he prayed: “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” Can you see it? Can you see why he was the one who went down to his home justified? For one thing, he stopped hiding, but for another, while the Pharisee was focused on the people around him and was busy taking pride in himself by comparison to his neighbor – the tax collector was just focused on his relationship with God. Now this matters. This sermon is titled, “If I only had” at the prompting of our church secretary, Renea Foster, who got the line from a Dr. Phil episode this week – and in this episode Dr. Phil was interviewing people who had been through a near death experience and they were talking about what they learned and what lessons they had to offer. No one on the show said – If I only had been more disingenuous in my relationships. No one said – If I only had been less open with my feelings. No one said – If I only had a more beautiful living room. And no one said – I only had done a better job of hiding who I really am. We come into this place – this sanctuary – like Adan and Eve coming out from hiding. We must come into this place to sing – not so concerned with being heard by the people around us that we whisper the words, but singing to God who loves to hear our voice. We are reverent and tidy and we look so upstanding – so we must be careful - for if we can’t be ourselves here, if we can’t be honest here – than how will we ever learn about grace? Now I do hate it a little bit that in today’s Second Scripture Lesson Jesus is telling us not to be like the one who tithes his 10% to the church right in the middle of Stewardship Season, but I want to tell you this – Jesus says that because he is warning all of us that we cannot trust in ourselves. Verse 9 read, “He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt” and if you are using that card to prove that you are righteous – if you are using that card to check off all the boxes so that you know you are doing OK – if you are using that card to justify yourself before God and your neighbor than you have no need for the card nor do you really know about grace. But on the other hand – if you are using that card because this is the place where you can be you and still find love and acceptance – if you know you need forgiveness and you want to thank the God who has provided it – if you are using this card because you know you need a savior and you know that you have one and you just want to thank him because he loves you with a love that you can barely understand – then use this card to say “Thank you” and leave this place justified. Amen.