She despised him in her heart

2nd Samuel 6: 1-5 and 12b-23, pages 280-281 David again gathered all the chosen men of Israel, thirty thousand. David and all the people with him set out and went from Baalejudah, to bring up from there the ark of God, which is called by the name of the Lord of hosts who is enthroned on the cherubim. They carried the ark of God on a new cart, and brought it out of the house of Abinadab, which was on the hill. Uzzah and Ahio, the sons of Abinadab, were driving the new cart with the ark of God; and Ahio went in front of the ark. David and all the house were dancing before the Lord with all their might, with songs and lyres and harps and tambourines and castanets and cymbals. So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obededom to the city of David with rejoicing; and when those who bore the ark of the Lord had gone six paces, he sacrificed an ox and a fatling. David danced before the Lord with all his might; David was girded with a linen ephod. So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting and with the sound of the trumpet. As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal, daughter of Saul looked out of the window, and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart. They brought in the ark of the Lord, and set it in its place, inside the tent that David had pitched for it; and David offered burnt offerings and offerings of well-being before the Lord. When David had finished offering the burnt offerings and the offerings of well-being, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts, and distributed food among all the people, the whole multitude of Israel, both men and women, to each a cake of bread, a portion of meat, and a cake of raisins. Then all the people went back to their homes. David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, “How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants’ maids, as any vulgar fellow might shamelessly uncover himself!” David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me in place of your father and all his household, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord, that I have danced before the Lord. I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in my own eyes; but by the maids of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor.” And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death. Sermon The source of conflict in this second scripture lesson isn’t unknown to you. Well illustrated here is a problem that I’m sure you’ve heard about before, you may have even dealt with it yourself. It’s something like what happens to a lot couples at some point in the marriage. The happy couple rides off to begin their new life together after the wedding, but at some point or another expectations aren’t quite met and comparisons are made: The beautiful bride says to her new husband as he takes the car off to have the oil changed, “You know, my daddy always did that himself.” Or, dinner is served and the new husband takes a bite out of squash casserole, but the only thing he can say is, “this is good, but my mama’s is better; maybe you could watch her make it next time we go for a visit.” The comparisons aren’t all bad – but they can be the sign of something bad. In our second scripture lesson, Michael is married to David. He’s her husband, but the primary relationship in her life isn’t her relationship to David. He might be her husband, but Saul is her daddy. Dealing with that reality, the reality that David, her husband, ranks second to Saul, her dead father, has significant impact on her marriage. It is a big deal that after his display of rejoicing as the Ark is returned to Jerusalem, David goes home feeling as tall as a mountain, as strong as a lion, but his wife met him at the door saying, “How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants’ maids, as any vulgar fellow might shamelessly uncover himself.” Battles have been won, peace established in the land, now the Ark, the dwelling place of God, is returned to Israel as all the people rejoice in their new king, but the last stronghold of his predecessor Saul’s power is in the heart of his new wife. David isn’t her husband nearly so much as Saul is her daddy. If her father were king, well – her father might have marched at the front of a parade into the city as the Ark was brought home, more likely he would have allowed a group of strong men to carry him into the city that he might look regal, dignified, like a man worthy of reverence and respect. And certainly. Certainly he never would have danced! In Michal’s estimation only a classless man would dance! So when she saw him dancing, “Michal, daughter of Saul, despised him in her heart.” It didn’t have to be that way then. It doesn’t have to be that way now, but it often is. Because for some the standards of proper behavior are set in stone. Normal behavior is defined. According to those for whom standards of proper behavior are established and unamendable, those who don’t follow the rules are just plain contemptable, worthy of being despised. They’ll say that husbands should change the oil in the family car all by themselves. That wives should follow their mother-in-law’s recipes. And certainly, certainly kings should never dance. Now we come to these conclusions early on I believe. I believe that we all grow up thinking that we had a normal childhood, that the way our families did things is just the way that things should be done. I remember the first time I ever spent the night at a friend’s house – we had dinner at 5:30, which was weird because at home we always ate at 6:00 and I assumed everyone else did too. Then the next morning things got even weirder because at the breakfast table there were two jugs of milk. One was for cereal, and my friend showed me that I should pour my milk for my cereal from the cereal milk jug, and then when I was finished with my cereal, if there was any left, I would pour the milk that was left in my bowl back into the cereal milk jug to be used the next day. That was perfectly normal for him, but sometimes what you think is normal is actually disgusting, so what becomes important in a marriage is that a husband and a wife change, that they begin to operate with a new shared definition for normal – if they don’t one of them will always be wrong, or worse - despised. I once met with a couple who lived with two standards of normal financial practices – one was a saver, one was a spender, they asked me who should win, who was right, and that’s easy – in this kind of situation they both lose – because what’s required in a marriage is adaptation, compromise, and the ability to shift your allegiances away from the family that you grew up in towards the new family that marriage has created. In the second chapter of Genesis we read that a man must leave “his father and mother and cling to his wife that they become one flesh,” and if he doesn’t – if he’s holding his wife with his left hand and his mother’s with his right, the thing that is certain is that he’ll be torn apart. Sometimes what’s demanded of the faithful is the ability to be flexible, to rethink those standards of what’s right and wrong and decent and proper. Relationships demand that. And that’s been true in my life – for a year I cut grass professionally, so that means I can make those fancy diagonal lines in my lawn. And my crew was all illegal immigrants – which is an issue that I felt one way about before I met them and a different way after I became their friend. Relationships demand that we change sometimes – that we re-think our standards of truth – this is especially the case when we consider our relationship to God. Our first scripture lesson illustrates the prophet Amos’ reluctance to embrace his new identity as God’s anointed prophet. He said, “I am no prophet, nor a prophet’s son; but I am a herdsman, and a dresser of sycamore trees,” but “the Lord said to me, ‘Go prophesy to my people Israel.’” There’s a challenge to human existence – for we’re reluctant to let go of what we know, we’re slow to embrace the new that has come, so just as Michael had do decide whether she was Saul’s daughter or David’s wife, just as Amos on the one hand knew himself as a herdsman and a dresser of sycamore trees but God called him to be a prophet to the people of Israel, so you have to understand yourself, not as a child of this world, but as a child of God. Every Sunday I charge you to remember who you are – not because you haven’t been told enough already, but because the world will tell you one thing, will call you to one way of life, and one set of expectations, but you cannot serve two masters like Michal – you have a decision to make. You have been called to a new relationship. A new standard. A new life. You are not just the king’s daughter. You are not only a dresser of sycamore trees. You are a member of the royal priesthood. A child of God – and a joint heir with Christ. This relationship must change the way that you understand your values – for the standards that you grew up with are changing, being reshaped even now – but it’s not the values that you grew up with that you should cling to so tightly. David danced and while it seemed shameful to his wife, it was Michael who was punished for holding fast to the traditions of a bygone era rather than embracing the new day that was dawning. So also Amos was a prophet on the one hand – a dresser of sycamore trees on the other. A decision had to be made. That’s how it is with you – so hear these words of the Apostle Paul: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good, and acceptable, and perfect. Amen.