Victory

Genesis 32: 22-31, OT page 30 The same night he got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had. Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day is breaking.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then the man said, “You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the place Penuel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip. Sermon My first job out of college was in lawn maintenance, which is a fancy way of saying that after four years of college I cut grass for a living. It was one of the nice companies in Atlanta, we rode around Buckhead in a nice truck and used expensive equipment, but seven dollars an hour only attracts a certain kind of person so the crew included illegal immigrants, convicted felons, and me, a religion major. The convicted felon's name was Doug, and not only was he the most knowledgeable employee of the company, he was also the kindest. He made every effort to learn Spanish just to make the guys fresh from their border crossing feel more comfortable. He showed up on time and he worked hard, and he was the one who would answer my questions when I didn’t know where to hide the grass clippings or how to start the mower. From time to time it would rain in the course of a day, and when it did there I sat in the truck in-between Doug and Shaun, because the new guy always had to sit in the middle, and Shaun wouldn’t talk too much, but Doug would talk and to pass the time he’d often tell us stories about prison. We usually ate lunch at a picnic table outside a BP station, but when it rained we’d eat sandwiches in the truck and Doug would look at his sandwich which reminded him of when he was locked up and how sometimes he’d get work detail, and when lunch time finally came the guy with the cleanest shovel would heat his shovel up over the fire and the whole crew would use it as a frying pan for their baloney. Then he’d pause, look at his sandwich again – this one that consisted of French bread and Boar’s Head chicken from the sub-station of Publix, and he’d say that sometimes the days went by so slow, but then one day you finally get out of there and all of a sudden you realize how much time has passed, how many Christmases had gone by, how you’d all of a sudden see your son and daughter all grown up because you missed what seems like everything. The world keeps spinning, and on the day you go back home you come face to face with your past. Now Jacob was never in prison, but our second Scripture lesson tells the story of the night before he had to rise and face his brother. So many years had gone by since Jacob tricked Esau into trading him his birthright for a bowl of lentil stew – surely Jacob wondered if his brother would even recognize him after so many years, if he would recognize his brother. And then there’d be wives he’d never met who married his brother at weddings where he never gave a toast. There’d be his brother’s children for Jacob to meet for the very first time, only they wouldn’t all be children now, and how does an uncle make up for all those birthday presents he never gave? How much time had passed since the day Esau came in from hunting famished to the point of starving, and rather than simply give his brother something to eat, instead Jacob made him trade the stew for his birthright – would enough time have passed for Esau to forgive him? That’s the thing that Jacob doesn’t know. And for a man who knows how to take control, not knowing is about the worst thing that there is. Even in the birth canal Jacob wasn’t one to lie down and just let things happen, just let his brother be the first, so the twins were born, Esau first but Jacob just after holding tight to his brother’s ankle. Then years later, knowing that Esau as the oldest would be the one to inherit his father’s property and blessing, Jacob fought to make a name for himself and it was Jacob who was blessed by Isaac. The one who makes it in this world will do so fighting tooth and nail – now that’s what Jacob learned, and that’s a fine lesson to learn for the one who leaves never to return, the one who runs away from what’s been done and what’s been left undone. The one who wants only to win has no need for mercy. The one who never slips doesn’t need to be picked up. And the one who always runs away must struggle to understand forgiveness. That’s how I was at 8 or 9. On that day I was ready to run and never go back – anything but face the lifeguard who had to ask my friends and me to leave the neighborhood pool. When I came home early that afternoon and spilt the beans my parents gave me two options: either turn around and apologize to that lifeguard or never go back to the pool again. I assured my parents that I’d be fine staying at home – because I’m like most human beings. When given the choice between facing the person I’ve hurt and running away there’s a part of me that is ready to run every single time. This is the human condition according to Paul, so some are cut off simply because they run from their sin rather than seek forgiveness, run from their demons rather than face them, the story is as old as time for Adam and Eve chose to hide in the Garden rather than face their Creator. So the prisons are said to be filled with the innocent, the churches with the self-righteous, and the sign in Bucky’s says that “To err is human, but to blame someone else show’s management potential.” The powerful set our example by never admitting to much, the closet we’ll hear to an apology is a statement that “mistakes were made,” and so broken fences are never really mended but the walls between neighbors grow ever higher. Guilt is perpetual and sleep ever allusive as humanity wrestles with the reality of sin while refusing to face our brothers who we’ve betrayed. That’s why you can be sitting right next to someone while still being miles away – sin creating such a wall of division, silence slowing down time; your only hope rests in the words that are the hardest to say – “I was wrong.” “I’m sorry.” And the longer those words go unsaid the greater the divide grows. You stand at the edge of it looking down – it sure can be deep and it sure can be wide – so you just make a life there on the edge of it and you can live for years – unreconciled, unforgiven, pretending not to notice those friends of yours having such a good time at the pool on the other side because you’re not man enough to apologize for what you’ve done. That makes the devil’s work easy, for the self-righteous create their own hell. But my father couldn’t take it. Next thing I knew he was driving me to the pool and walking me right up to the life guard stand where I stood in silence for some moments before blurting out, “I’m sorry for not listening to you when you blew your whistle and told us to get out of the pool.” I don’t know what I thought was going to happen, and it seems foolish to have been so afraid, but thanks be to God for conquering my pride. Jacob wrestled through the night, and it is only when his hip is dislocated that he is victorious. Only in defeat is there salvation. As far as I can tell there is only one unforgiveable sin – refusing to bow before the throne of God saying, “Forgive me Lord for I am a sinner.” We all must come face to face with what we have done, and for Jacob that morning came. The sun rose full of grace on Israel, and he limped towards his brother and towards reconciliation because he knew when to admit defeat. Let this day be the day when you do the same. There is no shame is confession – for failure is a part of being alive, and the God who created you is ever more ready to forgive than you are to confess. Give voice to the guilt of your heart this day – for the reality of our Savior Christ is this – there is grace enough to cover all our sin. Thanks be to God. Amen.