Of Whom I am the Worst

1st Timothy 1: 12-17, page 839
I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief.
The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are to Christ Jesus.
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the word to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever, Amen.
Sermon
I know that there are plenty of people who wouldn’t dare walk through our doors and into our church out of fear that they are not good enough.
Some would be afraid that they don’t wear the right clothes; that they would feel out of place.
Some are afraid that their sinful way of life would be obvious, that we might all smell the alcohol on their breath, smoke on their clothes, adultery on their lips as though their sins were made plain like a scarlet letter or neon sign for everyone to see.
And some are afraid that they can’t measure up to us and our behavior. Some are afraid that they don’t deserve to associate with people like us – the saved, the redeemed, the nice, and the polite – and so they stay away because they think they aren’t good enough to fit in.
What a disappointment Church is to that group of people – as once they get in here and get to know us – if they thought we were cut from a finer cloth or were more perfect than all the rest I can’t say that it would take very long for them to feel disappointed.
As a church we try to make it obvious enough – right there on the cover of our bulletin we make a statement about who we are: “We are an imperfect people.”
This sounds like a very strange statement to make to some folks I’m sure – but what we say about ourselves is more or less the essence of Paul’s version of Christianity that we have read here in 1st Timothy: “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst.”
The author of this letter, one who is probably not Paul himself as most scholars believe 1st Timothy was written after Paul’s death, but a student of Paul modeling Paul’s teaching, is very up-front about something that most of us would rather hide.
I was talking with a young woman a little worried about heading off to college week before last. I asked her what she was most worried about. There’s so much you can know now about your roommates before you even meet them these days, and after having done considerable research on facebook and whatnot, finding out as much as she could about the young women who would become her roommates, she was worried that they might be rich and snobby, that they might have better clothes, and with them take up too much space in the shared closet.
“If it’s that they might come from more money than you do, I don’t think there’s anything to worry about,” I said. “College is the kind of place where most everyone is trying to escape who they are and where they come from. The kids from poor families don’t want you to know that they came from poor families, and the kids from rich families don’t want anyone to know that they came from rich families – I’m sure that if your roommates do come from money they are not going to want you to know anything about it.”
College is the kind of place where you start over, where you try to leave who you were behind, but who you are, where you come from, what you’ve done, and what you haven’t done aren’t things that you can run from or leave at home. We’re attracted to such opportunities as college, because just being ourselves is so hard. The courage to be – to boldly be who God created you to be – is a skill that too few posses.
Paul then, viewed by so many church-goers the way non-church-goers view church-goers, doesn’t remain up on that pedestal time and tradition have placed him on, but climbs right down to us, boldly proclaiming who he is and what he’s done: a blasphemer, persecutor of the church, a violent man.
It would have been so easy for Paul to let sleeping dogs lie, leave the past to the past, and allow us all to go on believing that the great Paul the Apostle were without fault.
But Paul knows, as I hope and pray, many of us know, that there is no reason for any of us to fear our pasts – as not only does God invite us to live a new life in Christ – but Christ’ grace was poured out on us abundantly while we were still sinners – before - before we had any chance of deserving it.
It is not out of a hope of deserving God’s love that Paul changed his way of life – it was a response to God’s grace that he received before he had changed anything or had any hope of deserving it.
That’s why at this church we say, not only that we are an imperfect people, but that “We are an imperfect people, who, in response to God’s Grace, are striving to live as disciples of Jesus Christ.”
Like Paul then – we boldly proclaim our imperfection, our sin, our short-coming – not because we miss our old way of life, and rather than pretend that we can escape it we know that we are not defined by it, because in the midst of that brokenness there was God’s love shining bright. In the midst of our undeserving nature, there was God’s grace poured out. In the midst of all our imperfection, there was God’s perfection making us unafraid to be who we truly are.
Our brokenness is not our weakness – our brokenness is nothing to be afraid of – as in spite of that brokenness that makes you feel that you don’t deserve God’s love, remember that it was when you were broken that the grace of our Lord was poured out to you abundantly – not because you are good, but because God is good.
As a church – we can’t be about anything else – and so we do our best to boldly proclaim that God’s love isn’t about deserving – it’s about the kind of love that is given and can never be deserved.
Yesterday I received an email from, John VanBrunt, a man who a few years ago was extremely active in our church’s life and ministry to the point that he and others were driving to Long Beach, Mississippi, to aid in reconstruction efforts in the wake of hurricane Katrina every other month. This group, along with middle-schoolers and high-schoolers from our church who also worked in Long Beach with their leader Katie Arnold, formed a relationship with one family, the Allenbaughs, who you may remember from the time they visited our church. Chris Allenbaugh, the bread-winner of the family, needed a motor for his boat, as the family’s livelihood depended on his work out on the ocean which he was unable to do, having lost everything in the storm.
Our church raised the money in no time for Chris to buy his boat a brand new motor – but as we raised the money there were plenty among us who worried – will giving this family a motor really help, or should they be working for it? Can our hand-outs really help this family, or will giving them a huge gift they didn’t have to earn make them dependant?
These are good and important questions – our church decided that we would just do what we could to help, and that we would leave the rest up to God.
We abundantly poured out to this family – and today, to use John’s words: “through God’s providential care and timing” Chris has been able to use his boat to provide a significant financial cushion helping to clean up the Long Beach area during the BP oil spill clean-up.
I don’t think that you could ever say that Chris and his family deserved the motor our church gave, but I do know that our gift, poured out abundantly like God’s grace, changed a family and gave them something to stand on.
This is in fact what I believe our church, and all churches for that matter, should be all about.
Not worrying about who deserves what – but responding to the grace you have received by pouring out love on others who deserve it as much as you did.
The truth of the matter is that you aren’t good enough to be here, as no one is good enough to be invited into the presence of God.
You can’t measure up, as even though you have left an old way of life behind in favor of a new one, perfection is something that you will never attain.
But thanks be to God – your imperfection is not something for you to hide away – as for you – God’s love is poured out abundantly – God’s grace has made you worthy – so there is no reason for you to fear anyone’s judgment, there is no reason to worry about not being good enough – all that is required is that you respond to God’s Grace by pouring out this abundant love to others who don’t deserve it either.
Amen.